Best Of The Best Charlie Sheen Quotes For Life

Charlie Sheen's professional fall from grace and ascendancy to pop-culture folk hero has been nothing short of astonishing. There's something for everybody. As such, we've collected his best interview lines (and for good measure, an alleged quip from his infamous Plaza Hotel binge) as they apply to your life

• “Winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning. Anyone?
• Sorry, man, didn’t make the rules. Oops!”
• "I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars."
• "You can’t process me with a normal brain."
• “If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! 
• “Wow I’m bi-WINNING.”
• “I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.”
• “I’m so tired of pretending my life isn’t perfect and bitching and just winning every second and I’m not perfect and bitchin’.”
• “Look what I’m dealing with, man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls.”
• “You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me. Boom. 
• "There’s a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.”
• "The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children."
• "The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.”
• "picked a fight with a warlock."
• "If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently."
• "C’mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t even warm."
• "They’ll wake up one day and realize how cool dad is. And, you know, signs all the checks on the front, not the back. And you know, we need him and we need his wisdom and his bitchin’-ness!
• Women are not meant to be hit. They’re to be hugged and caressed. - Sheen to Piers Morgan.
• It’s been a tsunami of media and I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard. - Sheen to Piers Morgan on.
• Everybody else is going to be begging me for their job back. - Sheen to Jeff Rossen.
• I earn two million an episode. I’m underpaid! - Sheen to Jeff Rossen.